March 30, 2016

Today, I lost something valuable that I treasure the most. When it comes to gifts from him, I don’t mind how cheap it is, how it looks like, or how ugly it is, as long as it is from him because I know how much efforts that he put into that gift or things he is giving to me. I really like everything  he gives to me but, I lost something from him — his monthsary gift to me.

That monthsary gift he gave to me was a bracelet, which I really liked it. However, I lost it this morning without knowing where. It slipped into my wrist and I only found it out when I was removing my jacket in his school. At first, I was clueless if I really wore it or not and I hoped that I did not. I told him about this and he was sad and told me to check it once I get home… I could not think of anything earlier except the bracelet he gave to me.

As I reached my apartment, I immediately went to my room and checked if I lost it or I did not wear it… I found out that I lost it. You can find this not a big deal, but it IS a big deal for me. I was really sad and I texted him immediately saying sorry.

I should have been more careful and alert of my things. I should have taken care of the things he is giving me because it is from him. Yet, I’m still hoping that I only misplaced it in my apartment that it just fell off from my wrist…

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March 29, 2015; 2:30PM

I may not be as sweet as your ex-girlfriend. I may not be as vocalized as your ex-girlfriend. I know you’re not comparing me to your ex, but I could feel it that you haven’t felt this way before you met me. You always thought that I didn’t care for you, that I didn’t love you that much… I don’t know how to express it but I’m doing it the way I know; however, it’s still not enough for you. It’s hard for me. They said keep strong, well I am cause I didn’t want everything to fall apart that easily. We’ve been into this situation for several times. I don’t know anymore what to do. I always acknowledge your efforts, but have you seen mine? I know it seems to be that I’m not showy yet, I’m trying to show my efforts for you. I didn’t blame you for what happened to me between my friends cause I know it’s my fault tho. Maybe I focused too much on you that I didn’t give them time. Yet, you were there when they left me hanging.

Maybe I’m doing it in a wrong way. I pushed you too much to do this, do that. Read this, read that. I’m sorry. If you didn’t want to do it, just tell me. I didn’t want you to just have borrowed faith. Do it your own way, I don’t want to be demanding on you anymore. I don’t want to push you into something that you didn’t want to do. I didn’t want to change you that you didn’t want to be.

I already told you about the relationship that I wanted to have but I chose you. I have no regrets but sometimes I asked myself how and why. I’ve never been into this relationship since you’re my first. I’ve been moody since we’ve been together or maybe after that party. My trust in you was not fully like before. I gave you second chance, then third chance. Maybe love is really blind. I took the risk to be in this relationship because I love you.

I don’t know anymore. Maybe I just have to have more time for myself. Maybe that’s the reason why I want to get out of the city, away from stress, problems or any negative thoughts. You’re not the problem, but I am. You didn’t give me any stress, it’s just my feelings and thoughts. I hope everything’s fine between us.

She & He

She hated him
He loves her
She avoided him
He adores her.

She pushed him away
He stays
She ignored him
He waits.

She likes it
He does not like it
She disagrees
He agrees.

They think opposite attracts
Guess what, it is
She is me
He is him.

5 Love Languages

1. Words of Affirmation – Where you get compliments from people and where you compliment people truthfully to cheer them up.

2. Quality Time – Finding time to spend with people you care for and whom you love

3. Service – Where you serve them independently without any replacement for what you did. It is something that you are willingly to offer them something or do for them something.

4. Gift – Giving them gifts because you just want to.

5. Touch – You hug, kiss and so whatever that’ll make them feel comfort and safe.