Book Review 2012 #4: The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

I read this in a different perspective, and gosh… It made me cry and with mixed of kilig between Hazel and Augustus.

Your Door Marked Exit

I first read about this book through The Vampire Diaries’ executive producer Julie Plec and one of my most favorite entertainment writers Carina Mackenzie. I haven’t experienced any John Green book, but seeing how much they were tweeting about it, it made me curious. I wanted to wait for the paperback version but when I visited National Bookstore and Powerbooks, the hardcover was assaulting me everywhere, so I had to give in.

So let’s dig in.

SYNOPSIS (from Goodreads): Diagnosed with Stage IV thyroid cancer at 12, Hazel was prepared to die until, at 14, a medical miracle shrunk the tumours in her lungs… for now.

Two years post-miracle, sixteen-year-old Hazel is post-everything else, too; post-high school, post-friends and post-normalcy. And even though she could live for a long time (whatever that means), Hazel lives tethered to an oxygen tank, the tumours tenuously kept at bay with a constant…

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Just OBEY HIM

Sometimes, we just need to obey Him. Who is “Him”? He is the one who made us and also the One who suffered His one and only son, Jesus Christ. God is the “Him” whom I talking about. He is so powerful that all things are possible because of Him. If we have faith in Him and believes in Him, He will help us to get through of all things that are so impossible to be done. He has done a lot for me such as: school, my life and so on. He saved me from everything and He has always been there for me. As my mother and brother always say to me,

ALWAYS OBEY GOD, FOR HE ALWAYS SEE WHAT YOU’RE DOING ALTHOUGH WE ARE NOT WITH YOU ALWAYS.

Why am I writing this? Because I just want to share what I have experienced from the past. Also, when we obey Him, He will do good things. But, if not, there will always be consequences. Don’t test or try Him, don’t wait for that moment and just obey Him (also TRUST HIM). He knows what is good and right. Just do good things and if temptation comes, just always remember Him and keep His words unto you. He will save you from everything and keep you from evil things.

 

 

March 30, 2016

Today, I lost something valuable that I treasure the most. When it comes to gifts from him, I don’t mind how cheap it is, how it looks like, or how ugly it is, as long as it is from him because I know how much efforts that he put into that gift or things he is giving to me. I really like everything  he gives to me but, I lost something from him — his monthsary gift to me.

That monthsary gift he gave to me was a bracelet, which I really liked it. However, I lost it this morning without knowing where. It slipped into my wrist and I only found it out when I was removing my jacket in his school. At first, I was clueless if I really wore it or not and I hoped that I did not. I told him about this and he was sad and told me to check it once I get home… I could not think of anything earlier except the bracelet he gave to me.

As I reached my apartment, I immediately went to my room and checked if I lost it or I did not wear it… I found out that I lost it. You can find this not a big deal, but it IS a big deal for me. I was really sad and I texted him immediately saying sorry.

I should have been more careful and alert of my things. I should have taken care of the things he is giving me because it is from him. Yet, I’m still hoping that I only misplaced it in my apartment that it just fell off from my wrist…

2PM

We’ve been together for 5 months, “friends” for a year and 14 months but why like this? It feels like I don’t fully trust him. We’re in a relationship but it seems not like that. I always doubt his love for me. I never imagined that I would be in this situation wherein I’ll be in a relationship that soon. I asked God to give me a guy, a man who’ll lead mo in goodness and who’s a Christian who has faith and matured spiritually. Why like this? Is this a challenge for me? We’ve been fighting for months and then be okay again. It’s like a routine. I always think why can’t we break up if we’re always like this? I’ve said that I don’t want to cry anymore but, I guess that won’t happen. I cry like everyday for some reasons. I told him to guide me because it’s my first but it seems that I’m the leader. I don’t know what to do with him. I’m near to giving up even though I love him that much. I don’t know what he really feels toward me because he once broke my trust to him.

Everything got affected when e came into my life: friends and studies.

I lost my 2 close friends from my former work because of him, I guess. But, he was there when my friends where leaving me alone in front of the customers and they were enjoying themselves at the production area with some other crew. I felt alone that time, loneliness for my friends and I were slipping apart. I never imagined that it would come into like that. My friends whom God gave me were not my that friends anymore. I can really feel loneliness inside of me. I miss my true friends in my country. They’re always there through thick and thin, joy and sadness, ups and downs.

My studies are not good here. I quit my other job last year cause I had 2 jobs and school at the same time. What happened was my studies suffered a lot. I got a grade that I didn’t expect to have. I felt like I was drowned in the middle of the ocean that no one could help me out. That grade screwed everything. So, I’ll graduate next year for my associates and transfer in a 4-year college. But, my big problem is my grade. The point is, I quit my job but then the guy came into my life after that. So, I don’t know.

The main idea of this is, everything is falling apart.

March 29, 2015; 2:30PM

I may not be as sweet as your ex-girlfriend. I may not be as vocalized as your ex-girlfriend. I know you’re not comparing me to your ex, but I could feel it that you haven’t felt this way before you met me. You always thought that I didn’t care for you, that I didn’t love you that much… I don’t know how to express it but I’m doing it the way I know; however, it’s still not enough for you. It’s hard for me. They said keep strong, well I am cause I didn’t want everything to fall apart that easily. We’ve been into this situation for several times. I don’t know anymore what to do. I always acknowledge your efforts, but have you seen mine? I know it seems to be that I’m not showy yet, I’m trying to show my efforts for you. I didn’t blame you for what happened to me between my friends cause I know it’s my fault tho. Maybe I focused too much on you that I didn’t give them time. Yet, you were there when they left me hanging.

Maybe I’m doing it in a wrong way. I pushed you too much to do this, do that. Read this, read that. I’m sorry. If you didn’t want to do it, just tell me. I didn’t want you to just have borrowed faith. Do it your own way, I don’t want to be demanding on you anymore. I don’t want to push you into something that you didn’t want to do. I didn’t want to change you that you didn’t want to be.

I already told you about the relationship that I wanted to have but I chose you. I have no regrets but sometimes I asked myself how and why. I’ve never been into this relationship since you’re my first. I’ve been moody since we’ve been together or maybe after that party. My trust in you was not fully like before. I gave you second chance, then third chance. Maybe love is really blind. I took the risk to be in this relationship because I love you.

I don’t know anymore. Maybe I just have to have more time for myself. Maybe that’s the reason why I want to get out of the city, away from stress, problems or any negative thoughts. You’re not the problem, but I am. You didn’t give me any stress, it’s just my feelings and thoughts. I hope everything’s fine between us.

She & He

She hated him
He loves her
She avoided him
He adores her.

She pushed him away
He stays
She ignored him
He waits.

She likes it
He does not like it
She disagrees
He agrees.

They think opposite attracts
Guess what, it is
She is me
He is him.