Solitary

After several months had past, here I am again, writing and blogging non-sense for others but for me, it’s not that a big thing, yet, I just need to put it out, through words cause I’m tired of crying.

I’m just lonely now, really lonely. I thought when I’m going to be with my brothers (also with my mother) I’m going to be happy, as in extremely happy. Yet, why am I feeling like this, feeling gloomy, melancholy (any synonyms of sadness would do).

Part of me was missing. Part of was lost. Part of me was broken. Part of me was “ok.”  Maybe because I left something in my little hometown, my heart (too much drama, yeah I know, sorry).

I miss my little hometown, although it’s hot and have no fresh air there. I miss attending classes even though I’m stressed everyday. I miss my school, the university, even though I always have to attend the classes at 7 am which I have to wake up at 5 am. I miss my org mates even though they always end up to scare me (especially one of my org mates’ tantalizing eyes). I miss my best friends (who I were not their best friend anymore, I guess) despite their weirdness and abnormalities. I miss my home, even though I was bored when I was just their, staring at the ceiling and thinking of “where could I go to?” I miss my pets (hi to Tam and Harry, Kris and… Cory, who just died recently :() despite their noisiness when they saw a stranger or smelled something unrecognizable, and when they were hungry. In short, I JUST MISSED EVERYTHING.

For my lost heart which was left in someone’s hand, you were too lucky to have it and you just crashed it. Thank you. You can have it back to me now. I know it’s wrong to assume but it’s your fault, not mine. Don’t you worry, your secrets we’re still with me. You trusted me, anyway, right? I could keep those secrets cause I know how to keep my promise. 🙂

All right. Sorry for this long drama. He-he-he. How to smile again? O’right, bye.